An individual and social experiment

We have all sorts of strange, small, arbitrary actions in everyday life. Strange scenes of pre determined social interaction, where you already know the answer to the question you’re about to be asked. “No, I don’t want a receipt, thank you”. When walking, one always walks with a purpose, one always has a destination in mind and regardless of the path they chose to take their eyes become blinkered as they strive towards their goal. We impose boundaries upon ourselves by creating a path from A to B which is a perfectly straight road, no detours, no twists or turns along the way. Are we so encompassed in fear that we dare not stray from the path we create and look into the infinite number of potential experiences that await us?

This life is ours alone, each alone, each individual. We have the ability to make it whatever we want, not only can we act physically but we can alter our perceptions as well. We can bend reality, whatever that is, on both the physical and mental plane. We’re God’s fucking children, and do you know what that makes us? God! Consequently we’re terrified, we’re seriously scared witless. So we construct safe little communities, friendship groups, networks of acquaintances. All made of a stockpile of people we deem to be good because they don’t judge us. I ask myself, should I really be making relationships based on other people’s judgment, or lack thereof? If I’m really happy in myself, living the life that I know I want to live, then why should the judgement of others, good or bad, be a factor in my life at all? That’s just the problem, I don’t know what I want my life to be and in the absence of this knowledge I’m unhappy. So if I don’t know what I want to change my life to, why should I change my life at all?

The irony comes with this; the only way to figure out what you want out of life, is to try it out. The reason we don’t know is because we’re so scared of everything around us. Ask yourself, out of everything in the universe what do I have knowledge about? What topics does my wisdom cover? If the universe is infinite then your answer will be closer to nothing then it will be to something. And amongst that tiny slither of knowledge you do have, how much of it is actual real truth? “Well nothing of course! Objective truth is impossible.” Then what of subjective truth, of all the wisdom you spout how much of it is your own? How much is grounded in real personal experience, where you were fully encapsulated in a moment, with no concept of past or presence, just complete awareness of the now? I know, for me at least, not much, not much at all.

I love to think about “being in the moment”, because I think that’s the only truth we’ll ever have. Those real, intense moments, where everything happens at a thousand miles per hour but when you tell the story it replays in slow motion. I think this is the greatest truth in life, listen to anyone tell a story about their own life, is it one of those stories where you look into their eyes and regardless of what their saying you can see that, for them, it’s one hundred percent true? These are the real moments in life.

In the film Waking Life, it’s called “the holy moment” and it’s something we should constantly be looking for. It’s something we should actively seek out and constantly try and be aware of, whilst at the same time being lost within it. Like really good sex. How do we find a holy moment? By letting ourselves drift off the path a little bit; speak to that stranger on the train, express a real opinion of yours to someone, stand up for yourself and speak up, throw yourself out into the immensely diverse aether that pervades this planet and wallow in it like a damn hippo.

I’m gonna try and dedicate some time to holy moments. To moments of simple but real interaction with all that’s around me. I will enjoy the tiniest pleasures of nature and find the most real of human emotions in the most abstract of places. What more is a movie scene then a moment filtered through the perception of profundity. Your whole life is profound if you choose to see it as such. And I figure that here, I will write about them. Here I will type up, document and digitise my own holy moments. More for fun than anything else, not to set an example, this is just an experiment. A way of getting myself to think about being lost in the moment, to push myself outside of my comfort zone and fulfil the tiniest bit of the lingering potential that haunts my waking life.

...Merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream.

We so often talk of “reality” as if the word has a true definition. We use “reality” to refer to the “real” world within which we “exist”. The word “reality” in itself has such a limiting effect. By stating that certain things are real, we must therefore be stating that there are certain things that are not real. The question then is how do we define real? Is it simply the physical world, if so then what about thoughts, surely they are real, what about language? Emotion to a human being is the most real thing of all and to many it is what makes us really human, yet what is emotion? Partly a chemical reaction, partly an electrical impulse to the brain, but beyond that what is it? A state of mind perhaps, a temporary sway from a neutral state of being? Is a mere feeling real? The ultimate problem with discussing reality is that for us to be able to define what is real and what is not real we must have criteria. No such criteria exists.

Let us abandon this notion of “reality” where some things are real and some things simply aren’t. Instead let us assume that everything simply is. That is the problem with the physical realm we constantly feel the need to define, to expand, to know more and more as if we will one day know everything. We spend our whole lives trying to discover what is and what is not, what is true, false, real, good, bad, right and wrong. We have been lead into the illusion that knowledge, thought and information is finite. That it can be captured and known.

In the physical world we are contained in what we can do by the laws of physics. I for instance, cannot fly as I do not have the physical appendages required to successfully propel myself up into the air. However, I can dream that I’m flying, within that dream I will experience every sensation that I would imagine flying entails and I wouldn’t question how I got to be flying, nor would I think that it broke the laws of physics and was thus impossible I’d simply be thinking “Arrr hell yeah, I’m flying!”.

What we call “reality” is a finite existence. It is governed by certain physical laws and well established precedents upon which our perception of the world is derived from. Because the realm in which we dwell physically is finite we assume that our existence is finite. We therefore behave like this is the case. We pursue knowledge under the illusion that we can fully “know” something. We set goals to attain and drive towards. We regiment ourselves in a very fixed route through space and time. Space and time which we see as real, due to it’s effect on our physical being.

However I contest that our true nature and our true existence is infinite. The mind when allowed freedom to roam and is not shackled by the finite perceptions that the physical world creates does extraordinary things. In our dreams we are free to do anything. What’s more, is that in our dreams we never question the origin or the purpose of the moment we find ourselves in. Within that moment everything that happens is what is real, we don’t define what happens upon our perception of what is real.

Meditation is the art of not thinking. It is said that the ultimate goal of meditation is to be at one with everything around you. This, to me at least, does not me physically. It means being part of the stream of ideas and thoughts that surrounds us. We don’t need to consciously think about them because they are innate, they are us, pure raw streams of consciousness. The true nature of infinity is not endless space, it is an ocean of consciousness that we float in, where there is no right and wrong, no judgement, just experience. Just the one ever changing, forever evolving moment. Dreams and meditation are simply a way of tapping into the greater infinity we are a part of.

Nothing is fixed. Nothing is “real”. Moments of peace, moments of love, moments of beauty are simply us tapping into the infinite. Individuals are all part of the one infinite consciousness. Dreams are us tapping into this stream, within this infinite realm anything and indeed everything is possible, our dreams could take us into someone else’s world, for the time we dream we could create new worlds, breed new civilisations and destroy galaxies. We are but character’s in a play within a play within a play.

So what about the physical world? What about the reality we are part of everyday. It’s all very well thinking these things and coming to these conclusions but what does it actually mean. It means that the world literally is just a stage, we are the performers, artists with unlimited creative potential and we can put on one hell of a show.

We were never in Kansas.

And it wasn’t that I felt it
It was that I was
Her breath was my skin
I was her exhalation
With every breath she took she exuded life after
As if dragging slowly on a cigarette and puffing out smoke
The words she spun and spluttered choked upon and spoke
Jaggered pieces of incomplete puzzles
Being whispered into the forget of the night’s air where
Profound ideas escape as mere passing comments
I stand facing her like a mirror of
She keeps warming the glass and fingering out letters
Form eludes me
Because she finds incoherence more exciting
A limbo between creation and imagination
Quotes and jokes and lies and lines
Anecdotes drinks sex and aquaintence
I am the best book she’s ever read
Just no narrative

I am only real in eyelids
Her vision makes me disappear
Platoons of me conjured over long evenings
The first ball of clay moulded at dusk and
So it rolls on
We all retreat by day break
With dawn return sensibilities
The wretched responsibilities that quell the quill
Sometimes I question my sentience
As if it was mine to ask
Am I the imagined false image or am I the truth come to pass

Sometimes we lay in bed together
She grazes her fingers up my back
Every night I sleep inside her
She stays tapping at the window pane
Like a child in the snow looking for a family
She rubs my lamp when she cannot sleep
And grants her own wishes
She stares for hours at stars and the moon
But only has eyes for me
Standing, waving, howling, screaming, marching, parading, pervading, lying, crying, persuading, debating, bartering, betraying, delaying, ranting, bathing, decaying, musing, alluding, folding, burning, freezing, raving standing in front of her
I need convince her of nothing
A flick of the air with her tongue
Spirals me into a human shape
I stare at her as I take my leave

Someone lit a fire up those kids ass!

Mindless slogans, repeated over and over, a police escort and a caged tour of London’s political landscape. The floor is now open to interpretations as to what I’m describing.

Just about every protest I’ve attended has followed this same pattern and slowly I’ve grown incredibly disenfranchised with the whole concept of protest, especially in Britain where to protest against your government you need their permission, now that’s Monty Python doing George Orwell if ever there was such a sketch? Let’s take Stop The War for example. A pressure group with commendable causes; opposed to the invasions of Iraq and Afghanistan, quite high profile and quite well known. In 2003 prior to the Iraq invasion 1,000,000 people took to the streets in protest and then they went home, safe in the knowledge they’d done all they can. 7 years later and we’re still struggling to contain and control a nation we blew the fuck out of for no legitimate reason.

By protests placating to the authorities they simultaneously destroy any chance they have of meaningful resistance.

The recent wave of student protests has given a new lease of life into this sea of apathy within which we once comfortably drowned. The youth of the nation have lit a fire that hasn’t been quelled by the media and that hasn’t burnt itself out within a day. All across the nation students are standing up taking direct action. They are organising, they are occupying and they are resisting. Now I’m not gonna go throwing around loads of student movement allegories, but this is something that shouldn’t be ignored. People are standing up and fighting for themselves because they are realizing that government no longer serves the people, it serves themselves and it’s masters.

Protest once again has meaning and force behind it. When the chants of the university students regal through towns, through London, through occupied lecture halls and through the heads of our oppressors they have fire behind them, a fire that can be seen in the eyes of our brothers and sisters.

The state is responding exactly how one would predict, trying to crush the resistance with power, trying to destroy the protests with brute force and aggression. Their own special brand of storm trooper complete with drone like expression and neon rave jacket kettle in every protest they can. Yet the protestors have come back again and again and again. For the most part these protests have been peaceful and I’m speaking from my first hand experience of being part of them.

Sure they’ve sometimes been destructive but that to me, isn’t a bad thing, so long as that destruction is symbolic. The destruction of Milbank; symbolic and the defacing of Nelson’s Column; symbolic. It seems to me that violence in many cases is self defence against the forces of the state, who let’s face it, come ready to fight; shields, armour, vests, batons and helmets. The riot police in appearance, in manner and oh yes in name! Are a self fulfilling prophecy if ever there was one.

The police themselves I have an immense amount of love for because I think it is they who need it the most. Brainwashed by their superiors, conditioned by their uniforms they are forced into situations where their head must be spinning around the choices of employment and morality. On the 30^th of November I can happily say I got four of the riot police to smile, one of which was forcing out of Trafalgar Square at the time. It is the uniform we hate on, the robot we wish to see destroyed, and the human being inside freed and left to make their own choice about this resistance.

I go out with peace in my mind, love in my heart and fire in my eyes. Peaceful resistance is the key to any resistance, not to say we don’t defend ourselves against violence, we can push just as hard as they can when need be. But for the most part fighting fire with fire is a fool’s game, use logic “Water can flow or it can crash, be water my friend.” In light of this we must remember to remain positive, be angry and let it out but make sure you stay positive crack a joke, make someone smile, give away a goddamn hug.

Positivity is of such vital importance to these kinds of actions where it is so easy for one to get lost in their anger. Embrace your anger, don’t let it embrace you. So after you call that police man a cock sucking fascist scum bag tell him it’s nothing personal, tell her it’s just the uniform because we’re all humans underneath. Anything to the contrary, anything that says we are separate; is a facade designed to maintain order and keep you from experiencing the rest of this divine consciousness.

Earlier today I was asked: "Isn't it pointless protesting against university cuts because they're voting for it tomorrow

I would like to respond as follows: "Sway them at the last minute? Maybe. Show them that if they wanna install a brutally elite system we will not stand for it? Constantly. Lay back on your comfortable bed of apathy and let them fuck us yet again? No more.

This goes further than student cuts. This goes further than your right to protest. This is about our generation standing up for the first time and saying fuck you we won’t take your corrupt elitist agenda - we will oppose it.

I’ll leave you with the words of Mr Hicks:

“You’re right not those fuckers who wanna tell you how to think you’re fucking right!”

Love to you all and I hope to see you on Thursday for another scene of this play within a life within a mind within a god within a universe within a play.

The Little Things.

Today I got to dance on the street outside Whitehall, opposite Downing street. I got to speak with and meet some wonderful people. Truly committed to creating change through direct action; The White Flag Revolution, a group of people camping and occupying the street outside Whitehall. Their goal is to create forceful change on policies regarding Afghanistan, we know all protest is pointless, this is the next stage of direct action. I think it’s fair to say I do a lot of political activism, whether it’s some satirical megaphoning or something else but today I found something that I so often don’t see.

When given the right space and the right group, people will truly project their soul through themselves and it is an utterly raw and wonderful thing. Whether it comes from talking to a group or another small action it doesn’t matter, you can see it in people. When this happens it feels like a perfect demonstration of what so many peace movements try to achieve. So here’s to the girl today who was laughing along with my shit on the megaphone and later in the day came up to me out of nowhere and asked for a hug. Strange that that’s the one thing that sticks out from my day, I think her name was Maddie. So yeah, thanks for the wonderful little projection I got to share with you.

Projecting to you; Tom :)

Dance Dance Revolution

So I’m thinking about this whole political change issue. Some people were looking at the riots that took place on Wednesday as something of a resistance, people standing up and fighting back against their evil oppressors. Now I’m all for standing up again scumbag oppressors, but I saw a bunch of pissed of young people letting out their anger, no greater agenda then that, just a small space in time that happened to be perfect for them to let it all out.

In many ways it did feel revolutionary but in many others it felt fucking stupid. The moron who threw the fire extinguisher off the roof, people going just for a fight with the police and those determined to throw rocks and light fires whether or not it hurt their fellow human beings. What the whole event showed was potential; that when pushed, people can push back.

So the whole thing was pretty destructive and yeah it was cool to see “fuck you tory scum” and “Anarchy” spray painted across the walls of Tory Party HQ. But on the whole I don’t think this type of action is the way forward and I speak now from a “conspiracy theorist, we’re in desperate need of revolutionary change” point of view.

Back to this thought I had. Instead of this conventional notion of revolution and change being mass riots and take over perhaps we need something else. Perhaps that method is outdated and, to quote Bill Hicks, “we need to evolve the idea”. Here’s the thought and yes it may sound bizarre. Instead of complete violence and destruction to create revolution and overthrow the system we need a party and not the political kind.

We need the peaceful take over and occupation of buildings like Millbank tower, but instead of destroying them completely we turn them into party central. We dance, we sing, we shout, we fill the place with good vibes. We show how fearless we are by skanking it out to some righteous ska in the face of the police and if they bring it down with force then they look even worse because there is no violent opposition to blame. Besides as it’s been said many a time, if there’s a lot more of us then there are of them we will succeed.

It’s strange because I don’t even know if I support the idea of revolution. I know I support the true philosophical and political view of Anarchism. In truth though I don’t know where a revolution would leave us. Whether we would graciously fall into an anarchistic type of society (or lack thereof); or whether we’d be left with nothing but chaos and for those who don’t know, there is a massive difference between Anarchism and chaos. If there was a revolution would I support it? I have no idea.

I guess with this I just wanted to say that there might be other forms of revolt other then the classical perception of revolution. Imagine just on the off chance we tried this, we revolted with a party we occupied a building and just filled it with love and positive energy, a combination of direct action and spiritual projection, it could be magnificent. It could fall flat on it’s arse and fail completely. You know what though? If it failed, well shit at least we would of had one hell of a good time.

Finishing with a quote as I so often do.

“A revolution without dancing, is a revolution not worth having” – V (V for Vendetta)

Debt anyone?

Those sell-outs! Those Liberal Democrat sell-outs! How dare they allow The Conservatives to cut university funding how dare they!

Let me put a different spin on this for you. First of all, you really think this is a simple matter of budget cuts? It goes far deeper than that. This isn’t a classic case of Tories being Tories, no no no. This issue relates to a very important part of the matrix of society.

This society is the way it is because of mass brainwashing, conditioning, indoctrination, propaganda ...whatever you wanna call it. The reason this society is so docile and placid is because it’s been taught to be that way. Through the media, through the politicians through the glorification of mediocrity, those in control and I don’t mean your government, are getting away with mass murder. They invade nations who pose no threat, they commit acts of terrorism at home and abroad, they covertly enslave their own people through a monetary system based on debt and fiat currency. They have successfully trapped us in an intricate web of deception and forced perception.

It starts when you’re just a kid and you get thrown into the education system. As you grow up you have instilled in you all these values and morals by your teachers. When you’re younger your taught the basic ethical and moral principles upon which our society functions. When you reach 15 and encounter GCSE’s it’s truly the first time you are forced to consider where you’re life is going after school and by that I mean what you’re gonna do for a living. You take courses relating to these sort after occupations, you repeat the process with A levels until you’re ready to go out into the wild to find a job. It’s what society expects, it’s what your family expects and it’s what you’ve been taught for the past 14 years of compulsory education.

So what next? One of two options, you go get a job or you head off to university. Getting a job and working inevitably helps maintain the system as you are less left time to think for yourself and are warn down so you’re more vulnerable to propaganda (see my post “Jobs we hate, shit we don’t need). But if you choose to go to university then your mind is left open and there’s a high chance you might start to think slightly differently from the way in which you are taught. Think about how many people become politicised at university, the student movement of the sixties, the numerous anti – war groups that are active today; it is a time where people leave home and start to consider their own opinions on what’s really going on.

So what do you do to people who are starting to think for themselves, who are breaking their programming and who are swerving off the road that was laid out before them? You can’t put a curriculum on universities that’s ridiculous. So you make sure these students get into fuck loads of debt. Once completing University nearly every student has a huge debt looming over them and as such seek out work to pay it off. So regardless of what you thought at uni, regardless of the conclusions you came to you owe, and you owe big. Meaning you’re forced to become part of the system, you’re enslaved by debt.

So what do I see when I see university budget cuts? I see an excuse to take the caps of university fees and making the debt even bigger and enslaving more people. Once you’re in the system it’s very hard to get out. Now I’m not saying that there’s a group of people in a smoky room discussing this master plan, but what I am saying is regardless of why this is supposedly being implemented. It will help maintain the current system; it will benefit the elites in charge and it will force graduates to be part of the system, whether they like it or not.

“You think you’re free? Try going anywhere, doing anything, without money.” – Bill Hicks